As a consultant and educator, I have seen many strange and puzzling things throughout the companies I have visited. However, there is one especially strange and puzzling thing that has confounded me all those years.
“Where do those missing socks and bras go to when they disappear from the washing machine?”
This question has confronted many people and, as a consultant, I have explored this question and various solutions. For example, in the UK, everyone has front-loading machines with very, very small holes so the socks and bras cannot simply be sucked out in the spin cycle? In Australia, we have a Fisher & Paykel direct drive machine with holes so small you can hardly see them.
Yet .. those pesky socks and bras still disappear.
After years of contemplation and research, I am pleased to announce to those of you reading this that I HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER!!!!
You see, under every washing machine, garage, third drawer in the kitchen there is a worm-hole through the space time continuum. Like all worm-holes, it opens randomly and sucks out the socks, bras, pens, tops of things and other bits we put somewhere not to lose them.
The worm hole opens above the once beautiful planet of Poonsbain and drops all the detritus of planet earth onto the mysterious crystal-like environment of the Poonsbanians.
Clearly, this really ticks off the Poonsbanians who are a peace-loving gentle race and to wreak revenge they send something back to Earth when the worn-hole opens.
“You can only have +25% or – 10% variation in estimates.”
“All estimates at the beginning of projects should be within 30% accuracy.”
Psot-implementation reviews should occur one month after the system goes live.”
“People are productive 70% of the day.”
“Steering committees must meet monthly.”
These and many other “rules” tend to dominate the world of project. Recently, I had an earnest project manager from a PMO tell me that “RAP’s should only have 5 people attend.” Given I had developed the concept of RAP’s, I was amazed that someone would give me rules about a technique I had used for 15 years.
Those god damn Poonsbanians are always sending these rules.
So, my suggestion is that whenever someone (including a person like me) quotes a rule at you, you should ask them the following questions:
“Where did that rule come from?”
“What research and/or experience supports it”
“Why is the rule relevant in the current situation” and
“Have you ever followed and/or broken the rule yourself?”
Depending upon the answer, you’ll know whether the Poonsbanians are up to their tricks again.